


The reason why

by ca_te



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-06
Updated: 2010-09-06
Packaged: 2017-10-11 12:37:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_te/pseuds/ca_te
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Drabble written on 03 July 2009.</p>
    </blockquote>





	The reason why

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jenwryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenwryn/gifts).



> Drabble written on 03 July 2009.

There were many silent children at Whammy's. So the reason why L got Matt stuck in his head was not his being silent. And it was not fault of his red hair, nor of those goggles he wore since the beginning. L began to want Matt because somehow L himself was still a kid. And kids like the most what seems they cannot have.

L saw Matt growing up, and Matt wasn't interested in him at all. It was when Matt reached the age of fourteen years old that L began to have serious problems at controlling himself. It was back then that, with horror, he discovered that he could crave for something more than he did for sweets.

L had never experimented what jealousy was. He had read about it in books, he had dealt with it while solving some of his cases, but he had never felt it on his skin. As Mello began to play around with Matt, realization hit L at full force, in the end he wasn't a genius for nothing. But L knew Mello better than anyone else, 'cause Mello definitely was the one among all the wanna-be geniuses who was more similar to him. L knew Mello was greedy when he still didn't have what he wanted, then played with it for a little before going to look for something else.

So L waited, patiently, he knew that Matt would come.

Matt's heart was far more pure than his and Mello's, far more delicate.

That's why Matt ran to L, when he saw his first love kissing Near, his long fingers tangled in white hair. Matt ran to L 'cause he was sure to have protection. L just hugged him, in silence, Matt's tears soaking his white shirt. Having that sighing body in his arms made L feel more like an adult and less like a kid.

Matt wished he was still a kid, to fit better in the shell L's arms where making for him. He let L caress his hair, follow his spine with his fingers. He shivered lightly under L's touch. It was much more slow and tender than Mello's.

L tried to print into his mind the sensation of Matt's hair under his fingertips. They were subtle, like silk. They were escaping between his fingers.

Matt came other times. He came silent and went away silent. L didn't ask him to talk. The boy sat on his knees, and L slowly caressed him, like a cat. Slowly Matt began to run his fingers along the wrinkles of L's shirt. Matt remembered Mello's hands, Mello's presence inside him. With Mello everything was more vivid, like fireworks. With L everything was like immerse in water. His fingers were like fishes merely brushing his skin, but it was calming. It was warm.

Slowly Matt stopped crying at night. He told himself he was a man by then. He didn't want L to see him crying anymore. He wanted L to think he could decide, act on his own. He didn't want to be a cat forever. That's why, the night before L left to go solve that important case in Japan, Matt talked. He just said "Guess I have to wish you could luck". L allowed himself to reach for his candy, and kissed him. Just a peck on the lips was enough for the detective. Just a taste of what he had desired so much. But, when L was about to pull away, he felt Matt's hand at the back of his neck. L thought Matt had indeed grown up, he was far more stronger than he thought. L allowed himself to get free from painful ties and slowly he began to lick Matt's lower lip, his hands tangling more in those silky hair of his.

That night L discovered how much Matt was needy, and Matt discovered that maybe L could be the person he could fall in love with. He discovered that L was human after all, that his moans had something so deep and grasping in them.

When L left the morning after he knew he had grown up somehow, 'cause the need didn't fade away as he expected. He was no longer a greedy child. He didn't regret it.

When Matt woke up he pressed his head against the pillow. He wanted to scream, to scream to the world that he had gotten lost, but he knew he would never be able to let anyone know.


End file.
